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Level Up Your Mothering Skills with One Simple Thing

Do ever flop down on the couch at the end of the day and wonder how in the Houdini you are going to make it another 18 years?

Or perhaps that’s just me.

The days can schmush together (#technicalterm), leaving me feeling a little like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Day after day, the wheel turns…diapers get changed, homework happens, meals get made, laundry… *clearingthroat* 

Well, at least the meals get made.

It’s like I’m caught in a video game, but can’t seem to actually earn enough life points to “Level Up,” and discover the higher plane of parenting that everyone else (at least on Facebook) seems to be hanging out at.  (But is really just a big fat LIE, remember?)

Here I am, a multi-tasking wizard, who always ends up with a sputtering empty wand at the end of the day, exhausted.

I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME *snore*

The One Thing We Could All Use More Of

I realize that there’s a strong “I can do it myself!” streak that pervades our culture. That somehow, if you manage to do something by yourself, you’re automatically better than the person who did the same thing with help.

Here’s the reality, though. You’ll both get there, true, but while you are strung out, exhausted, and too busy gasping for air to celebrate, that person (the one who had help) is jumping up and down, high-fiving anything that moves. See the difference?

Yes, you’ll get there. But you’ll be a waif of a person when you arrive.

Have you figured it out, then? The one thing we can all use more of? The one thing that will level up your mothering skills with only minimal personal effort?

Yep. It’s support. (Of the non-bra variety.)

The more support you have, the higher you can climb and the more peaceful you’ll feel when you get there. We don’t exist in a vacuum, friend. As much as my little introverted-heart hates to admit it: I need other human beings in my life…and so do you. 

You’re going to have days where things are CRUMBLING and you need to cry with someone. Or laugh with someone. Or toss your hands up with the absurdity of parenting, and roll your eyes together.

Your mothering skills will improve the most when you have a wall of solid support strengthening your weary back!  Remember my worst parenting day? What did I need at the end of that day?  Yep! The support of a friend.

Finding Strengthening Support Where You Are

We need the support of our spouses and other family members. You need to know your husband is on your team, that he is on this parenting train ride with you. (So keep that friendship going strong!)

Don’t have a supportive spouse or family member? Seek out a community through a local church, organization, or team. Here are some more tips on how to connect and develop strong relationships with other mothers!

Finding Strengthening Support Online

One of my favorite things about the Age of the Internet is how it allows people to come together and interact, even if you’re waaaaayyy on the other side of the world. What an honor it is to interact with families in Africa, Brazil, Australia, England, Hungary…and experience motherhood through their eyes.

To know that one of my dearest friends is having similar motherhood struggles in her house in Budapest.  This, a woman I’ve emailed with for thirteen years, and only managed to meet face-to-face twice in all that time.

Mothers have this bond, you know? It’s an unspoken understanding, a club 🙂 that we are automatically all members of.

 

See what I mean? We can just look at each other and know.

Yep, I’ve been there Mom-standing-at-Kohl’s-with-the-screaming-toddler. Let me smile at you, even though you are beet-red with embarrassment and reassure you that I’ve been there, and it gets better.

A Word About Facebook: Although social media channels can be a GREAT way to share your burdens and get immediate support and encouragement, consider those connections warily. If you find yourself “fudging the truth” because you’re afraid of what you’re going to hear back, consider taking a Social Media break. You need SUPPORT not judgement, remember? *ChorusOfAmens*

No Supportive Sidekick?
Here’s the Next Best Thing.

As we delve deeper into the jungle of parenthood, we’re going to need these types of support:

  • Emotional Support ~ to remind you of the truth, when you’re convinced Shari across the hall is a better mother. {She’s not.}
  • Spiritual Support ~ to pray with/for you when things get tough and you need a little outside, God-given perspective.
  • Physical Support ~ to bring over a meal when everyone’s got the flu (including yourself!)
  • Financial Support ~ to help you stretch that dollar a bit further.

Well, as your friendly virtualhood club, we can’t bring over a casserole… but we can cover the emotional and spiritual things pretty well!

As far as financial support goes…I may even be able to help with that!

Time for an Inventory Check!

So, what level are you currently on in life’s Super Mothering game? 

  • Consider where you were a year ago, and how much you’ve learned in such a short period of time.
  • Think of all the struggles and triumphs you’ve weathered.
  • Reflect on the things that make you a strong mom. (Don’t know what those are? Take our free Mamanalysis to find out!)

I hate to say it, but the Cliffs of Teenage Insanity are looming ahead! You’re going to need to be at least on Level Three to defeat those hormonal big bosses! There’s no time to waste, we need to up our Mothering Skills.

Honestly, it’s time to cheat. Time to hit that hidden coin box over and over again like Mario, stocking up all kinds of golden Mothering Points without actually having to do anything scary, like squashing evil mushrooms or kicking man-eating turtles.

Don’t try to climb the Mountains of Motherhood by yourself. Get yourself a supportive group of people who love you, will encourage you, and even (if you really need it) a gentle kick in the pants when you’re crumbling into self-doubt and shame.

Nothing helps shoulder the burdens and stresses of Motherhood like knowing you’ve got a whole team backing you up!

What is your support story? How do you find your daily strength to do the most important job in the world? 

 

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