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What You Need to Know About Taming Your Angry Stretch Marks

This post is sponsored.  This means we were asked to review or try something new, and then remunerated to share those thoughts.  Since you are reading this post, it ALSO means that we enjoyed the experience. Friends don't let friends make false recommendations! 

Hello. My name is Heather, and I have stretch marks.  

*Support group applauds, and chants welcome.*

Anyone else out there ready to circle round the hard metal folding chairs, sip coffee from paper cups, and start talking about the bold angry stretch marks that motherhood has tattooed across our epidermis? 

It’s like I’ve been hiding something bad for the past 14 years, and I’m only now ready to get out there and ADMIT that I’ve got racing stripes.

Let’s ditch the mystery and shame that comes with these silver lightening bolts. Especially since there has been evidence that indicates that 90% of us mothers will end up with stretch marks anyway.

Let that sink in.

You know that mom that you compare yourself to? (For some reason I want to name her “Brenda.”) Does Brenda’s trim slim little body that has miraculously pumped out 3 kids, make you feel really crappy about yourself?

Well, there’s a 90% chance she’s trying to hide her own pair of matching stretch marks too. 

That’s comforting.

Even Little Mom Perfect, isn’t Little Mom Perfect. 

Where Those Stretch Mark
Lightening Bolts Come From

Despite what my nephew believed when he was four, moms do not get those marks because they run super fast (like the Flash).

Both men and women can actually get stretch marks, since it has nothing to do with pregnancy. It is actually the result of STRETCHING. As the skin is stretched (through rapid weight gain or loss, or in pregnancy), the middle-layer dermis part of the skin gets stretched beyond it’s limits and painlessly tears, leaving a scar.

The marks are initially reddish/purplish but then eventually fade into a glossy white. (Wouldn’t it be awesome if, someday, this became a new beauty standard…?)  

Can You Actually Remove Your Stretch Marks?

Well…yes and no. The earlier you treat your stretch marks, the more effective the treatments can be in minimizing their appearance.

How effective a treatment is in removing stretch marks will depend on a few factors:

  • How quickly you start treating the stretch marks. The sooner the better! Marks that have been untreated for years can still show an improvement, but will never fade away completely.
  • The amount of sun damage your skin has suffered through.  (Another reason to remember your sunscreen!)
  • How old you are. The younger your skin, the easier it is for those marks to heal and disappear. (Of course. Because everything is easier when you’re 20. #NoBitternessHere)

There are two primary tactics used in removing your stretch marks.

Treating Stretch Marks with Surgery (For Celebrities)

If you are a celebrity and reading this, first please do me a favor and tweet out this article to your zillions of fans.

Done? Thanks.

Back to your stretch mark removal options: since you’re probably already swimming like Scrooge McDuck through your bank vault of shiny gold pieces, go ahead and grab a few armfuls to pay for a dermabrasion or chemical peel.

Sure, it’s expensive, but if you can spend $100K on leggings and $50K on a ghost detection device, what’s $5K on chemical peel treatments?

Improving Stretch Marks with a Quick-Dry Oil (For the Rest of Us)

For those of us not cashing Netflix checks this year, we have to choose our options with a bit more financial care. Especially since most insurance companies won’t pay for cosmetic surgeries like those.

So, assuming you don’t have $5,000 in extra cash, how does $13.50 sound?

Recently I was asked to try a new product called Mederma Quick Dry Oil.

It intrigued me.

How can something be, at the same time, “Quick Dry” and “Oil”? It’s an oxymoron!

So I did what any curious blogger would do. I asked if I could have a bunch more free samples to share with friends/readers to get their thoughts on this strange-sounding product. After all, my experience of something isn’t going to be everyone’s experience.

What if I’m the ONE person it doesn’t work for? Or, worse yet, what if I’m the ONE person it does work for? I needed more perspectives. Perspectives like these…

The last reviewer above admitted that her stretch marks have been present for over 20 years. That’s a tough assignment for any hard-working stretch mark oil!

My own personal experience was very close to theirs, because I’ve had these marks for almost 14 years now.  Still, I could definitely see improvement, because I only did the LEFT side of my body! Yes, I do look a little, um, odd with one side blazing and the other side subdued, but it was all in the name of SCIENCE, right? (Don’t worry, I evened up the other side a few weeks later. 🙂

Adding Mederma Quick Dry Oil
to Your Morning Routine

There are a few things about the Mederma Quick Dry Oil that I especially loved:

  1. Since it does actually dry super fast, I can get dressed right after applying it and not worry about grease spots on my clothes.
  2. Honestly, it smells amazing. Botanically fresh. Like I just walked out of a flower. Who wants to walk around smelling like a CVS?
  3. I love that the ingredients are plant-based.

If I had to sad-face something, I felt a little apprehensive at the beginning with the lack of instruction. Was I supposed to squirt it directly on the skin? Is there a certain amount I should be using?

I ended up just “dashing” it on my palm and rubbing it in. It seemed to work fine that way, but I felt nervous at the beginning that I was using it wrong.  (I was just overthinking it. It’s an oil. Obviously, it’s not for cooking…so logically you should splash it on and rub it in.)

I have added this awesome stretch mark oil to my morning routine. It evens out my skin tone, it smells amazing, and I love how soft my skin feels later in the day. After two months of use, I’ve still got most of a bottle left. A little goes a LONG way!

I may never have the celebrity-wallet big enough to toss out thousands on surgery and peels, but I know I have $13.50 to invest in something that makes me feel less self-conscious about the Mom Marks I carry.

I will never remove them completely, being the thirty…something…woman that I am, but you, my young whipper-snapper friend, are at the very beginning of your stretch mark journey. Now is the time to invest a few lattes-worth of cash into helping those silver bolts virtually disappear! No more white lightening!

If I had a time machine, that’s definitely something I wish I could have told my younger self. (I also would have told her that, despite the style at the time, 9-month-pregnant women should never wear overalls.)

Have you tried this amazing stretch mark treatment? What did you think of it? 

Have You Seen These Yet?

Mederma, the maker of the wonder Quick-Dry Oil compensated me for my time to write this post and create these graphics. They also provided our Mom Testers with a free bottle so they could try it out. I must admit, I was a little nervous! Fortunately, they really liked the Quick-Dry Oil, which paved the way for me to agree to write this post! I have my bottle upstairs and have added it my morning routine. Smells divine! 🙂 


Stretch Marks Therapy. Mederma.com
Your Skin and Stretch Marks. WebMD.com
Stretch Marks Topic Guide. eMedicineHealth.com 

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