When to Start Potty Training

When to Start Potty Training Let’s get this out of […]

Ronan Kelleher
5 min read

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When to Start Potty Training

Let’s get this out of the way: yes, we still call it potty training — because that’s how most parents search for this topic. But around here, we prefer potty learning. Why? Because this is not a bootcamp. It’s not about teaching on command. It’s about your child learning to understand and trust their body, with your gentle support.

Starting potty learning isn’t about hitting a certain age. It’s about knowing your child, noticing their cues, and honoring their individual timeline. Whether that happens at 18 months or closer to 3, the goal isn’t fast — it’s right for your child and your family.

Identifying Potty Training Readiness

You might hear that most kids are “ready” between 18 and 24 months — but Alexis would gently push back here. That might be true for some kids, but it’s not a reliable benchmark. Readiness isn’t an age. It’s about capability.

We’re not just asking: Do they seem interested? We’re asking: Can they recognize the feeling of needing to go? Can they get to a potty on time? Can they sit and relax long enough to let their body do its thing? That’s what matters most.

Yes, kids who stay dry for longer stretches, communicate about pee/poop, or act bothered by a dirty diaper might be ready. But even more important: Are they capable of learning the whole routine with your help?

Self-Assessment: Is Your Child Ready?

Let’s tweak the checklist so it’s less rigid and more intuitive:

  • Do they recognize when they’re going, or just went?
  • Can they move around on their own and sit on a potty?
  • Are they starting to pull pants up/down — even just for fun?
  • Do they seem curious about what happens in the bathroom?
  • Are they generally open to trying new things — or at least not terrified?

If the answer is “yes” to most — great. If not, wait. There’s no deadline. And if they’re going through a big change (new sibling, move, sleep regression)? Alexis would absolutely say: Pause. Reset. And try again later.

Early Preparation for Potty Training

You don’t have to wait for “official” readiness to start laying the groundwork. That’s the beauty of prep — and Alexis considers it non-negotiable.

Talk about poop and pee. Narrate your own potty routine. Let them flush the toilet. Read books about it. Keep the vibe casual, curious, and warm — not instructional. No pressure. No praise. Just normal, everyday learning.

Earliest Age for Potty Training

Some parents explore potty learning before 18 months with methods like “elimination communication.” Alexis wouldn’t knock this — as long as the focus is connection, not results.

But be realistic: Early potty exposure is not the same as full independence. And unless you’re watching them like a hawk all day, this approach can lead to frustration. So if you’re doing early EC, make sure it works for you too — not just the parenting blog you read.

When to Potty Train a Baby

Same deal here. If you’re starting under 18 months, think of it as introducing a new concept, not expecting mastery. You’re showing them what a potty is, not demanding they use it.

If your baby seems curious, great. If they resist or seem stressed, stop. You’re building a long-term relationship with the potty — not trying to win a race.

Signs Your Toddler is Ready to Potty Train

Let’s reframe this list as signs your child might be capable — not just “ready.”

  • Staying dry longer: Yes, a longer dry stretch can help, but it’s not a golden ticket.
  • Interest in the potty: Curiosity is great — but don’t confuse it with readiness.
  • Following simple instructions: This shows they can understand multi-step tasks, which is huge.
  • Independence with clothing: Can they help get pants up/down (even clumsily)? That’s enough.
  • Communicating: They don’t need perfect speech — signs, gestures, or clear cues are enough.
  • Discomfort with dirty diapers: A helpful sign, not a required one.
  • Pooping in private: Often misunderstood — but it may just mean they’re aware, not that they’re ready

Recognizing the Right Time to Potty Train

Forget the calendar. Follow your child. Alexis would say: If your child is capable — and you’re feeling calm, present, and ready to support — go for it.

If not? That’s okay. Wait. There is no “behind” here.

Encouraging Your Child to Communicate Potty Needs

This is less about training them to talk and more about modeling how you talk about potty needs.

Start with simple body talk: “Ooh, my belly feels tight — I think I need to pee!” Make it normal. Make it yours. Then watch them begin to echo you back, in their own time.

Signs Your Child is Not Ready for Potty Training

Alexis would say: If you’re seeing resistance, fear, lots of accidents, or zero interest — it’s okay to stop. This isn’t failure. It’s information.

Maybe they’re working on a different skill right now — sleep, speech, separation. Potty learning might just need to wait its turn.

Taking Breaks and Resetting

Taking a break is not backtracking — it’s smart. Alexis is all about preserving the relationship over rushing the result. If your child is struggling, stop and reset. It’s not “giving up.” It’s listening.

Potty Training Readiness by Gender

You’ll often hear that girls tend to potty train earlier than boys — and yes, some studies suggest girls, on average, might show signs of readiness around 23 months, while boys hover closer to 25 months.

But let’s be real: Averages aren’t children.

The truth? Readiness doesn’t come stamped with pink or blue stickers. Your child’s personality, temperament, emotional maturity, and lived experience matter far more than their gender.

Some girls take longer because they’re cautious. Some boys jump in headfirst and surprise everyone. And vice versa.

So yes, it’s okay to know these averages — but please don’t use them as a measuring stick. Alexis would say: Follow the child in front of you, not a milestone chart.

Age Expectations for Potty Training Completion

It’s normal to wonder: “When should my child be fully trained?” The quick answer is, most kids are potty independent during the day by around age 3 or 4. Nighttime, however, is a different story — and Alexis would be quick to emphasize this: You cannot train the body to stay dry at night.

Night dryness is about biology, not effort. Most children’s bodies don’t mature enough to stay dry overnight until age 5 or 6. Some even later — and that’s still completely within the range of normal.

So if you’re hearing pressure to “finish” by a certain age — pause. Ask: Is this about my child’s readiness… or someone else’s expectation?

If your child is over 4 and consistently struggling with daytime potty use, or if they’re feeling upset or ashamed, that’s when it might be helpful to check in with your pediatrician — not because they’re failing, but because they may need extra support.

But above all, remember: this is a process, not a deadline. What matters most isn’t how fast you get there — it’s that your child feels safe, proud, and empowered when they do.

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